


Wrecked

by Mothra



Category: Captain America (Comics), Captain America (Movies), Winter Soldier (Comics)
Genre: Action, Angst, F/M, Lemon, Reader Insert, Romance
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2014-05-04
Updated: 2014-12-24
Packaged: 2018-01-21 22:57:54
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Graphic Depictions Of Violence
Chapters: 7
Words: 22,075
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/1567097
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Mothra/pseuds/Mothra
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Your life had been fairly normal, and even with it's ups and downs you were comfortable with where you were at in it... Even if it was a little boring at times.</p><p>But one night, he showed up, and life would never be the same again.</p><p>Reader X Winter Soldier</p><p>(Mainly movie-verse!)</p>
            </blockquote>





	1. When It Rains...

**Author's Note:**

> Hey guys! It’s me Mothra, here with a brand new fic! Woo hoo! Now, this story is supposed to take place where Captain America 2 ended, so it’s mostly going to be a movie-verse kinda story. I do hope to incorporate comic aspects and stuff later though, but we’ll see where it takes us! 
> 
> If you also read my Bioshock story, do not fret, I am still hard at work on that one! The next chapter should be up soon, too! This story is very much just a little fun side project. :D
> 
> Anyway, I hope you like it!!! Here’s chapter one! :D

You had always found the saying ‘When it rains, it pours’ to be quite true. In your life, it seemed like every little bad incident lead to something much more complex, and often times, much worse. 

When you graduated high school, your family, as well as yourself, had nothing but high hopes for your future. You were a smart girl, not top of your class, but still making it by with mostly A’s and B’s. You even managed to snag a nice scholarship to a school right outside of DC that you had your heart set on. Things seemed to be going perfectly… until you actually got to said school. 

You were warned about your college, it had quite the reputation for being fierce and one of the toughest schools in America. Despite all the warnings and your parents fretting, you decided to go to it anyway. You were eager to show everyone what you were capable of. At first, things weren’t so bad. You were able to keep up with your work and maintained decent grades. But as time passed by more and more work was piled on you, along with more and more responsibilities. You were having a really tough time managing school work on top of keeping a nearly full time job to afford your apartment. You began to fall behind, and no matter what you did, you couldn’t catch up. You were becoming ravaged by panic attacks almost every day, and your body was being pushed so hard you felt as if you were constantly going to shut down. It all came to a head one night when you were sent to the hospital after collapsing during a presentation.

You dropped out of school after that. Or, in nicer terms that your parents liked to use, you were “taking a break”. Disillusioned by the whole college scene, you honestly weren’t sure what you were going to do anymore. After high school, college seemed like the next logical step… But the more you thought about it, the more unsure you became. In a world where newly discovered super heroes were flying through the skies, fighting alien hoards to protect you, were you really going to lead a happy fulfilled life with years of college, followed by years of a normal desk job? It also didn’t help that one of your closest childhood friends, Maria Hill, was now a top agent of S.H.I.E.L.D, a position you used to tease her about back when you thought the organization was some kind of joke government scam. You never joked again after you watched the Avengers save the world, and envied her deeply from that point onward.

After your hospital visit happened, your parents begged you to come back home to (home state) to live with them for a while, but you adamantly declined. True, you were fairly certain you didn’t want to go back to school (at least not yet, and not the school you just left), but you had also grown quite happy in the town that you lived in. It was a quiet little area, not terribly far from hustle and bustle of the city, but close enough to it to go on day trips there if you desired. Your neighborhood is also quite scenic, surrounded by beautiful parks and some forests. The apartment itself you lived in was somewhat small, but you thought it was the perfect size for you, and your next door neighbor (named Janet) was one of the kindest elderly women you had ever met, and she quickly became your close friend. It was the perfect little area for you to figure out your life and do your own thing. Several years passed like this, and though your life hadn’t taken the course you thought it would have, it was comfortable, and this town had become your home. 

These reasons weren’t the only ones keeping you in town, however.

A year ago, you met the man of your dreams, Eric. He was tall, handsome, funny, kind, the whole package. He respected you, loved you, and you did the same for him in return. You had never felt so strongly about any man before him and your heart went a flutter at the mere sight of him. Everything was going great, and you even got it into your head that someday you’d become his missus, when abruptly late last night, he ended it with you. 

You kept replaying the conversation on repeat in your head.

“(Name), look… It’s just not… It’s just not working out, you know?” His deep voice came through the speaker, his tone serious and slightly sad.

You gripped your phone so tightly, you thought it might break in two, “I… I don’t understand? I thought we were doing good… Great, even. I mean, I love y-“

“(Name), stop it. Don’t say that… Our lives have just become too different, you know? I’m in school, working two jobs… I just really feel I need to be alone at this point in my life... I’m sorry, but this is goodbye. I hope we can stay friends.”

And just like that, it was over. The conversation haunted you the whole night, and as much as you hated to be the girl moping over being dumped, you couldn’t shake the heartbreak. You tossed and turned in your bed, trying to think of something, anything, to get your mind off of him. But no matter where you looked, or how your mind wandered, everything led back to him. Memories came in what seemed like never ended flashes. Every kiss, every hug, every ‘I love you’, all of it replaying over and over in your mind. You realized it was all terribly over dramatic, and that just made you more upset about the situation.

Hours past, and your alarms started to blare at you. You gave it the evilest eye you could muster, and groaned tiredly. How long had you slept, maybe a total of one hour the whole night? You sighed heavily, and dragged your weary body from the bed, to the shower, into your work clothes. It was hard enough motivating yourself to work a long retail shift on a normal day, let alone when you were heartbroken on maybe one hour of sleep. But you’d be damned if you’d miss work because you were sad about the break up, you needed the money, and hopefully it would help take your mind of the situation.

And so you trudged through the day. Work did end up helping take your mind off the situation a bit, and you were thankful for that. Not surprisingly though, the day was filled with gossipy co-workers inquiring to why you looked absolutely beat, as well as a bombardment of texts and internet messages, all trying to get the details on the break up. And through it all, your manager somehow convinced you to pull a double shift. ‘Could this day get any better?’ You tiredly thought.

Surprisingly, you made it through your shift in one piece, and driving home you were counting down the seconds until you’d make it to your apartment. You zoomed as fast as you could, eyes heavy and body growing wearier by the second, your complex finally came into view, rising up like a beacon in the darkness. You sighed heavily as you rolled up to your garage space and clicked the opener, leaning your head back on your head rest and closing your eyes. Once you heard the door make it all the way up, you began to inch your way into the garage.

“Yes,” You sighed deeply, “Finally I am home. Bed, here I co-“

You were abruptly cut off when your car lurched over what felt like a small speed bump, causing your body to jump from its seat, and your head to smack into the roof of your car. You slammed on your breaks as your heart began to beat quickly, ‘Oh God, what did I hit,’ You thought nervously to yourself, ‘I don’t have anything laying around in my garage… Oh God, was it Janet’s cat?! I know sometimes she sneaks in here, but she wouldn’t just sit there and let me run her over, would she?!’ Your mind couldn’t take it anymore, and you flung open your door to see what caused the bump. Nothing could have prepared you for what laid before you.

A man lay slumped over on the ground. Clad in all black, you noticed that his jutting out arm under your car was what had been hit. You stifled a gasp with your hand, horrified at what you had done. Where had he come from? How did he get in here? Was he even alive? He didn’t appear to be moving, and as you continued to stare, you noticed that he was lying in quite a bit of blood. You feared the worse.

“H-Hello,” You shakily called, “Hey… Are you OK?”

You waited a few seconds, but there was no reply. You killed your engine, and slowly climbed out of your car, quietly and nervously making your way over to the fallen figure. The closer you got, the more scared you became. This man, at least you think he is a man, is huge. His hair was long and grungy, and hung down over his face, obscuring your view so that you couldn’t make out what he really looked like or how old he may be. You called out to him again, still getting no response, and waited a few minutes before you crouched down right next to him. You placed your head close to his face, hoping to hear breathing. If he was, it was far to faint to hear. After a few seconds of silent listening, your eyes traveled nervously to his arm, which you were sure was to be crushed by the wheel of your tire. You were taken by surprise, however, to see that not only was his arm not destroyed, it looked to be covered in some sort of… armor?

Pushing your nerves to the side, you reached out and gently touched his arm. After seeing no response in him, you slowly positioned it out from under the car to inspect it closer. It really did seem to be covered in type of armor; a shiny, metallic, rather pretty armor that was cool to the touch. You noted that where your car went over it didn’t leave as much as a scuff, which you found quite remarkable. You were going to investigate further, when something grabbed you roughly by the collar of your shirt, pulling you away from your task.

With lightening quick motion, you were ripped around, giving you no time to respond. When you had gone still, you were face to face with the man on the ground. Fierce, animalistic ice blue eyes pierced through messy bangs, stopping your breath and making your heart beat so hard you could hear the blood rushing like an ocean in your ears. He stared deeply into you, as if he was scanning your soul, and you felt a wave of coldness wash over your body. His breathing was rough and heavy, and his body was shaking. It seemed he was trying his best to hide it, but you could still see his shadowy face was contorted in pain. After a few more seconds passed by, his hand dropped from you collar and he gave into a fit of violent coughing. He fell back to the floor, convulsing in pain. Your fear took on a new dimension as you watched him, afraid that any moment he may die. The last thing you needed was some guy to die in your garage.

“Hey it’ll be OK,” You called to him, moving slightly closer to him, reaching your hand out to touch him “Look, I’ll call an ambulance-“

He intercepted your hand before it could reach him, gripping it tightly and causing you to wince in pain. 

“нет*,” His voice called, guttural and deep, “Don’t. Call. Anyone.” He accented each syllable, as his eyes held yours for a few more moment. In a short about of time, he gave into his wounds once more and passed back out.

You stared dumbfounded for the next several seconds, your brain hurriedly trying to process all that had just happened in the past five minutes. Who was the man, and what exactly happened to him? Why was he so against going to the hospital… and why was your garage the one he had to end up crashing in?! You sighed heavily, and scratched your head nervously. Just what in the hell were you supposed to do next?

“Well… I can’t just leave you here, I guess,” You leaned down, and draped his metallic arm around your shoulder, dragging him up with you.

“Damn, you are a lot heavier that I thought you’d be,” You groaned lightly, slowly straining your way to the door, “Jesus, what a couple of days this has been… But I guess when it rains, it pours, right?” 

‘Actually, I think this can be classified as a hurricane.’ You thought to yourself as you kicked open your door, and made your way carefully inside.

~

*No in Russian

A/N: Oh man, just who the hell is this guy?! You are one brave lady bringing him into your home, that’s for sure! Also, good job running him over. ;P I hope you liked this starting chapter, more to come in the future! :D Wee!


	2. Impromptu Nurse

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> You were going to need some help with this one...

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hey guys, here we are with Chapter two! Woo hoo! Get ready to try your hand at playing nurse!
> 
> Also, thank you for all the comments, favorites, and kudos! You guys are all so awesome!!!
> 
> Thank you so much for reading, and enjoy chapter two! :D

“OK, now what?!”

You had somehow managed to drag the wounded mystery man from your garage, into your apartment, through the kitchen, and into your living room. There, you tried to position him on your couch comfortably, but after further wearing yourself out with numerous unsuccessful attempts, you transported his bulky body to your bed room and hoisted him up on your bed. Then, you promptly proceeded to panic.

Still very much passed out, you hurriedly looked him over to find where the blood was coming from. Shakily, you lightly scanned his body, patting him down here and there, focusing on finding his wounds. When you realized most of his blood was seeping out from behind his heavily battle damaged vest, you messed with the snaps on sides keeping it in place until you were able to wiggle it partially off, revealing a large, deep, intense laceration across his chest. A slash that would most definitely need stitches, if not more medical attention.

“I am not cut out for this,” You whimpered, pacing back and forth, trying to figure out what plan of action to take. Deep in your heart, you knew you should just call an ambulance. True, he vehemently told you not to call anyone (let alone an ambulance), but what where you supposed to do? This man looked positively ravaged, his chest and stomach violently bruised and torn up… And you could only guess that the rest of him was just as bad. As you continued to nervously watch him bleed, it was becoming increasingly obvious that any help you could do would not be enough. He needed serious medical attention, doctors and… nurses?

You stopped in your tracks, ‘Janet! She was a nurse for years and years, she’d know how to help him better than I ever could,’ Your eyes whipped to your clock, ‘It’s nearly midnight, she is sure to be asleep by now… And should I even try? He said to not call anyone… and do I really want to drag her into this mess, anyway?’ You looked back at the listless tattered form on your bed and sighed, ‘I really have no choice, and I have to move fast.’

You hurried your way out the front door, and quietly rushed to the room directly next to yours. You took a deep breath, and attempted to collect your mess of a self before knocking briskly on your friend’s door. At first, there was no response. You knocked again, harder this time. Again, there was no answer. You knocked even louder the third time, hoping you succeeded in waking Janet up, without the rest of the tenants following suit. You tapped your foot and gnawed on your nails nervously, praying she’d answer her door.

You let out a sigh of relief when you heard her shuffle up behind the door, followed by the creak of it opening a bit.

“Who’s there?” she spoke, calm and soft.

“Thank God you answered,” You quietly exclaimed, “Janet, I need your help, its urgent!”

“(Name)? Is that you,” She opened the door completely to reveal that you had indeed woken her up. She was donned completely in nightwear, a sleep mask pushed halfway up her forehead, “What is it, what is the matter? My word, what happened to you?! You are bleeding!!!”

You followed her pointing figure to see a splotch of fresh blood that you didn’t notice before, smeared roughly over your work shirt.

“Well… that actually isn’t my blood, “You stated shakily, looking into her eyes, “but it’s the reason I’m here. I’m in serious trouble Janet, and I need your help bad. I know it’s late… but please. I don’t know what else to do.”

Concern in her eyes, she nodded her head resolutely, “Of course, dear. Anything you need.”

~

Janet was just as taken aback by the man as you were when she first laid eyes on his mangled form.

“My God,” She exclaimed, “(Name), who is this?! How did this happen?!” 

“I don’t know, and I don’t know,” You worriedly told her, “Janet, I have no idea what to do… I found this man slumped over in a puddle of his own blood in my garage when I came home from work tonight. I have no idea who he is, or how this all happened, or why he was in my garage to begin with, but he was, and here we are.” Your breath began to quicken, and you could feel panic start to seep into your pores.

“Calm down, (Name), breathe,” Janet spoke, gently placing her hands on your shoulders while leading you to sit down, “OK, so let’s work this out together. You don’t know him, or what happened, but he’s badly wounded, and you were the one to find him that way- on your property, no less… Alright, did you call an ambulance?”

You placed your hand on your chest, frantically trying to calm your fast beating heart, “Before he blacked out I told him I was going to, but he was quite against me doing it, and basically commanded me not to call anyone… Janet, I am terrified. I have no idea what to do, but if we wait any longer, I don’t think he’s going to make it,” Both of you glanced over at him, each second he seemed farther and farther gone, “I need your help.”

Janet hesitated for a moment, looking from you, to him, concern brimming from her eyes. After a minute of silent decision making, she sighed heavily, “Of course I’ll help you… How could I say no to this? Let me go see the damage on him.”

You watched from your seat as she quickly made her way over to him, and set to work looking over his injuries. You watched quietly and closely as she gently undressed him to his undergarments, inspecting each limb for breaks and scratches along the way, pausing to marvel at his metallic arm.

“We’ll I’ll be,” She spoke incredulously, gently turning his metal limb this way and that, “This is the most advanced prosthetic I have ever seen!”

“Wait, prosthetic,” You spoke up, surprise in your voice, “You mean it’s not just some kind of weird armor?!”

She shook her head, and looked back at you, “No, it’s definitely a prosthetic limb; it’s attached right at the shoulder. How remarkable… (Name), come here and take a look at this!”

You slowly made your way until you were opposite Janet by the bed, directly next to the mysterious strangers left side. You looked down in awe at his arm. Now that you were able to see it in full light, it seemed even more spectacular. Pure silver, and with a shine that danced across your face, it was nothing short of remarkable. Your eyes darted up and noticed that irritated, scarred, red skin where the prosthetic had been connected. You gingerly reached out, and let your fingers lightly ghost around the edge where his body turned into machine.

“Poor guy,” You whispered lightly, “Just what in the world have you been through?”

You looked over to Janet, who met your gaze with worried eyes, “(Name), I have to go grab some supplies in my apartment. He’ll need quite a bit of antiseptic to clean up these wounds, as well as a few stitches here and there,” She sighed deeply, “I haven’t given anyone extensive medical care like this in a long time… but I’ll do the best I can. While I’m getting my supplies, I need you to fill a basin with warm water and soap and start gently cleaning him down. We need to see if he has anymore hidden wounds as well as keeping all the others as uninfected as we can, and getting the grime off will make it that much easier… Can you do that for me?”

You nodded quickly, and she hastily made her way back to her apartment to collect her supplies. You ran to your kitchen, grabbing the largest basin you could find, and filled it to the brim with water. After it was full, you dragged it back to your room, grabbing any clean towels you could find along the way. Once you made it back to his bed side, you set to work cleaning him up. You started at his chest, trying to work as gently as you could around the wounds. You felt his body jerk lightly a few times, and his face took on an even more pained expression whenever you neared closer to his wounds.

“I’m sorry,” You gently spoke, feeling awful about causing him even more pain, “I can only imagine how much this all hurts. But trust me, I’m being as gentle as I can…”

After you spoke, you went to brush the remaining strands of scraggily hair out of his face, finally exposing it to you. You gasped in surprised when you saw just how young he looked; he had to be around your age, maybe a tad bit older. A light blush illuminated your face as it also donned on you how incredibly handsome he was.

Despite his gruff exterior, his face was soft, and held onto a look of youthful innocence you would never peg a guy like him to have. His cheeks and chin were chiseled beautifully, and you could see a shadow of facial hair trying to grow upon them. You dunked a cloth in the water, and gently dabbed at his face, releasing it from grime, revealing flawless skin. His expression lightened a bit under your touch, and for a brief moment, he looked just like a peaceful boy whom had drifted off into a much needed you’re your heart started to beat faster, but this time, it was not out of fear. You averted your eyes quickly.

‘Pull yourself together, (Name),’ You thought to yourself, ‘you have no idea who this man is (let alone if he’ll even live) and he looks like nothing but trouble, and has caused you nothing but trouble so far! You shouldn’t even be concerning yourself with men right now, especially after just getting so badly burned by one… Regardless, that doesn’t change the fact that he is nice to look at’ Your eyes flitted back over to him, landing on his chest, where you realized that it wasn’t only his face that was beautiful, ‘… Lord help me.’

It was then that Janet hustled back in, her arms full of all kinds of medical supplies, “I’m back. Did you get him all cleaned up?”

“Uh, yeah,” You nodded, hoping the blush had gone from your cheeks, “I cleaned him up as well as I could, anyway.”

Janet nodded, determination in her eyes, “Good, then let’s get to work.”

~ 

And get to work you did. For the next hour and a half, you helped Janet as she further examined, disinfected, stitched up, patched up, bandaged, and just all around fixed up the stranger. Lucky for the two of you, he seemed to have sustained no broken bones, and his most intense wounds did turn out to be the ones on his chest. After you and Janet had put on the final bandage, you retreated to the living room, where you both collapsed in a tired heap on the couch.

“It’s done,” Janet sighed, “We fixed him up the best we could, and now we just need to wait and see how fast he heals,” She looked over at your shaken form, and gently grabbed your shoulder, “You did great, (Name).”

You exhaled sharply, “Thank you… But do you really think he’ll be OK now? I mean, he was torn to shreds! Was what we did for him enough?”

“(Name), we did all we can do. Personally, I think he’ll pull through. The man is fighter, and by the looks of it, it seems he is no stranger to getting in a few brawls. I’m sure he’s used to getting injuries like this, though maybe not to this extent. Besides, without a hospitals help, there isn’t much more we can do…”

After a few minutes of silence passed, Janet’s voice spoke out to you once more, “So... We really have no idea who this man is, or anything about him at all, huh?”

You shook your head tiredly, “Not a clue… You know, when I first came upon him, though, he did speak Russian to me, followed by English.”

“Really? Hm…,” Janet spoke, “I wonder if Russia is his native land? Maybe He understands Russian better than English? Hopefully he’ll know what we are saying when he comes around.”

“Yeah,” You murmured, trying the best you could to fight back the exhaustion pulling at your body. It was a losing battle, however, as your eyes kept drooping further and further closed.

Janet smiled, “Dear, I think it is high time you get some sleep. From the looks of it, our stranger will be out for several days at least. Get some rest now, and I’ll be back in the morning to check on you both.” The older woman kissed your forehead, and lightly laid you back so that you were lying peacefully on the couch. She grabbed a nearby throw, and draped it over your body. As she was making her way to the door, you called out to her.

“Janet wait,” she stopped and turned to you, “Thank you. Really, honestly, truly, thank you. I’m sure by now I would have had a corpse on my hands if not for you. How can I ever possibly repay you?”

She smiled and shook her head, “There is no need to repay me, dear. Friends are there to help each other out in times of need, no questions asked...,” her voice trailed off a bit, before coming back with a serious edge, “But I do want you to promise me something.”

“Sure, what is it?”

She sighed, “I don’t know who that man is or what he’s been up to, but it would take a fool not to realize that he is dangerous. In his state right now he won’t be doing much of anything, but as soon as he gets well enough to walk… I want him gone. The trouble that kind of man brings with him isn’t worth getting into, do you understand?”

“I understand.” You responded, surprised by the conviction in you gentle friends voice.

Her face reverted back to its normal kind glow, “Good. Now get some sleep, (Name). You’ve put it off long enough already!”

She shut off the lights, and with a small wave, she was gone. In mere seconds of her leaving, you had already descended into a deep, dreamless, slumber.

~ 

A/N: Yes, you definitely deserve that sleep! Thank you for the read, and tune in soon for chapter three! :D


	3. Awake

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Coming face to face with stranger was a lot different now that he is awake and functioning...

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hey everyone! Are you guys PUMPED FOR CHAPTER THREE? I hope so, BECAUSE IT’S COMIN’ ATCHA! WAZOW! ;D
> 
> Thank you so much for all the reads, favs, kudos, and comments! You guys are the most rad ever, and I am so happy to make you happy! Thank you, thank you, thank you!
> 
> With that being said, please enjoy chapter three! :D

You were softly brought into consciousness by something warm and incredibly soft continually rubbing rhythmically against your face.

“Wuffles, stop that! Let her get her rest!” You heard Janet’s voice softly scold. It sounded like her voice had come from the kitchen, and with it followed delicious smells and sounds of cooking.

You groggily opened your eyes, coming face to face with the little black cat, who mewed happily upon seeing you awake. You patted her gently before placing her on the floor, sitting up, and stretching the remaining tiredness from your body.

“Good morning,” You yawned, rubbing the last of the sleep from your eyes.

“Good morning sweetie,” Janet called, stepping into the room, “Wuffles didn’t wake you, did she? I tried to keep her out, but she made such a ruckus I figured either way she’d rouse you.”

You smiled, “Nah, it’s OK. It was a pleasant way to wake up, anyway… What time is it?”

“It’s already one in the afternoon,” She called, returning to her task of making breakfast, “I came in and checked on you and mystery man a few times before deciding you’d probably want breakfast when you got up. I’m making your favorite.”

At the mention of him, your head swiveled around to your bedroom to see him still passed on in the same position you and Janet had left him. The only thing that looked any different about him was that it looked like Janet had grabbed some of clothes Eric had left from his last visit and dressed the man up in them. Upon seeing him, every memory from the prior day’s events flooded your mind, and you felt a headache coming on.

You sighed heavily, “Janet, you are the best, really. I’d be lost without you. Thank you so much for all of this.”

“Honey please, I’m happy to help. Besides, you are worth the effort.”

You smiled to yourself, and stood up, realizing the full extent of your grunginess, “Hey Janet, I’m going to go grab a quick shower.”

“Take your time, sweetie. The food isn’t going anywhere.”

You proceeded to sneak quietly into your bedroom, grabbing a few things to wear while keeping a constant eye on the man in your bed, praying he wouldn’t wake up suddenly. After successfully gathering your things, you hopped into the shower and turned the water up as high as you could stand. You hummed quietly, and cleared your mind, giving into the pleasure of the warmth that engulfed you.

After cleaning yourself up and dressing, you emerged from the bathroom. You found yourself once again drawn to the stranger, as you quietly made your way back into your room standing mere feet from where he lay. His expression was hard to read, but he didn’t seem to be in pain, and that brought a smile to your face. 

“He seems to be healing quite nicely,” Janet’s voice called by your right side, causing you to turn around and see the plate bursting with food she was offering you, “It’s really quite amazing. I thought I’d have to do all kinds of touch ups on him, but that wasn’t the case at all when I changed his bandages this morning.”

“Huh,” you said, taking the food with a grateful nod, “He really is something, isn’t he?”

“That he is,” Janet responded, looking at you with a playful smirk, “And he’s quite the looker, too. I’ve started to call him MSM in my head, meaning Mysterious Sexy Man.”

“Janet!” You exclaimed, playfully nudging the older woman.

“What? I’m old, not dead! And besides, if I’m going to patch him up for free I can admire him all I like!” 

You laughed, “True enough!”

“Anyway, I borrowed some of Eric’s clothes so MSM wouldn’t have to lie around in his skivvies. I hope he won’t mind, though I’m not quite sure he’ll be pleased with you keeping and caring for such a handsome stranger to begin with…,” You froze at the mention of his name, which drew Janet’s attentions, “(Name), are you alright?”

You glanced over at to your concerned friend, and your brain once again traveled back to the last conversation you had with Eric. A deep frown had formed on your face when you realized you hadn’t talked to Janet since the breakup, and she didn’t have any social media outlet to receive the news from, either.

“About that,” You spoke downtrodden, “It won’t really be a problem… Eric broke up with me the night before last.”

“What?!,” Janet exclaimed, “Why, what happened? You two seemed so happy!”

“And I thought we were,” Against your will, tears began to flood your eyes, “at least, I was. I guess he had better priorities… I don’t know, he didn’t really explain himself or let me say anything… I guess he just wanted a life that didn’t include me.”

“Oh darling,” Janet cooed, wrapping you in a tight embrace while letting you cry it out, “It’ll be OK. I know it’s rough, but you are strong, and no man is worth your tears. If that sad sack can’t see what he’s passing up on, than let him live his life void of the best thing he could ever hope for! He just isn’t worth your heartache,” She sighed, and then smiled,   
“And look at the bright side, now we can both oogle MSM guilt free!”

You wiped your eyes, and smiled up at your friend, “How do you always know the right thing to say?”

“Honey, it’s my God given gift,” She chuckled, “now I want no more talk OR thoughts of that man! And eat up! Your food is getting cold!”

~

And so, life went on. For the next week, things slowly fell into a normal routine. Janet taught you how to check on the stranger’s wounds and change his bandages, and you made sure to do so every morning before going off to work. She’d also make sure to check on him throughout the day when you weren’t there, shooting you texts to give you an update. Other than that, life had pretty much returned to normal. The first few days of harboring the man had left you jumpy and nervous that he’d awaken at any moment (you even stayed several nights at Janet’s house just in case), but after a few days of inactivity, you became completely comfortable with him being there. You got so used to him being there in fact, that you’d even change your clothes in your room right in front of him from time to time, especially when you were running late for work. And though he had become an everyday part of your life, you still kept him a secret from everyone just in case, a task that ended up being much easier than you’d thought it’d be.

Yes, Things were all going in your favor… until today.

You had gotten off early from work and you were feeling good. It was a beautiful, sunny, warm Spring Friday and you had no work or obligations (other than your stranger) awaiting you for the next three days. Your windows were all the way down, and you were blasting your favorite song at the moment, singing along to it loudly without a care in the world. Today was the first day in a long time you had been in such a good mood, and you planned on keeping this state of bliss going through the weekend… Until you pulled up to your apartment to find the neighbor who lives next you standing rigidly in your driveway, a look of monumental pissed off-ness etched angrily on his face.

You turned down your music and slowly pulled up to him, “Hey Mark, how’s it going?” You asked cheerfully.

“It’d be going a lot fucking better if your new douchebag boyfriend would stop making such a mother fucking racket.” He angrily spat at you.

“… I’m not sure I follow?” You asked, genuinely confused.

He sighed angrily, “Look, your private life is your own business, but when you bring an asshole punk like that into this neighborhood, it becomes my business. All he’s been doing for the past hour is making all kind of goddamn noise, and when I politely knocked on the door and asked him to tone it down, the shit head said some kind of threatening thing in Russian and slammed the door in my fucking face! Now look, if you can’t calm his ass down I won’t hesitate to call the cops. In fact, you are fucking lucky I haven’t already.”

Your body had seemed to freeze at this point as the realization that your stranger had no only awoken, but was doing all kinds of something in your apartment very loudly, dawned on you.

“I… I’m really sorry. I’ll go and talk to him now, just please don’t call the cops!” You sputtered frantically.

“I’ll give you twenty fucking minutes.” He growled, angrily making his way back inside of his apartment.

Your body began to quake as you hurriedly parked your car, closed your garage door, and made your way up to the door. Your vision began to get fuzzy, and you broke out into a cold sweat. You breathed heavily as you strained to listen for any kind of activity in your apartment, hearing nothing in response. You wished you could run to Janet for support and advice, but she would be gone for the next week visiting her sister in another state. Your shivering hand grasped the door, slowly turning it. You were so nervous you felt like any minute you would collapse.

You slowly pushed your door open, cursing silently in your head when it let out a small squeak. Once it had opened just enough to squeeze your body through, you did just that, and closed it hurriedly behind you. What stood before you was a mess. 

Pictures and papers from your walls and tables littered the floors, and all your electronic devices were askew or knocked over. Your furniture had all been shoved aside haphazardly, and other various odds and ends had been strewn about. You inched your way to the kitchen afraid to even so much a breath, to see that it had been hit the worst. Nearly all your food items had been ripped from their homes, and there were numerous half eaten food items tossed this way and that. The whole apartment looked like a hungry bear had wandered in, and after passing through your living room, made himself at home in your kitchen. But even amongst all the damage, there was no sign of the stranger. Maybe he wasn’t even there anymore at all?

“Fuck,” You whispered, both your hands reaching up to grab the hair on your head, “This is a disaster…”

You were about to lean down to sort through the mess when a pair of thick, unbelievably strong arms grabbed you at lightning speed, roughly pulling you back to that you collided with what felt like a brick wall. You let out a pained whimper as one arm constricted around your stomach, making it hard to breathe, and you noticed that the arm in your stomach was inhumanly hard, which made you almost instantly realize that it had to be your stranger’s metal arm. His other arm was busy holding one of your large kitchen knives directly at your throat. The tip was pushing so hard you thought the skin might break any second.

“кто ты*,” A guttural voice grunted, his hot breath tickling your ear, “Где я*?”

Panic had taken over as your heart started beating so violently you felt it would burst from your chest, “I-I’m n-n-not sure what you are saying,” You stuttered, completely frightened and unable to think clearly, “But please don’t kill me with my own kitchen knife!”

You felt the grip on your stomach loosen the slightest bit, but the knife stayed firmly in place, as he once again spoke, this time in English.

“Who are you,” He demanded roughly, shaking your body a bit as he spoke, “What is this place?”

“My name is (Name),” You responded as clearly as you could, as you tried to calm the shake in your voice, “You are in my apartment… You showed up here deeply wounded about a week ago. I took you in.”

“Who do you work for?! Are you an agent?”

You were confused by his question, but responded promptly, “No…? I… I’m a customer service representative.”

He stood holding you quietly for a minute or two, and they were the longest of your life. You were fighting back horrified tears, and breathing deeply and quickly. This man really was scary. Would he let you go now that you were already in so deep? Your body went cold at the thought that these may be your final moments.

But alas, he let you go with a shove, causing you to stumble away from him, but not fall. Once you had collected yourself, you sheepishly turned back to him. When your eyes hit his, you faltered at how cold they looked, piercing down at you. When he wasn’t in a wounded heap, he was quite the imposing figure, tall and all muscle. His breathing was as deep as yours, and he looked to be rather worn out and famished from being knocked out and bed ridden for a week.

“Um… Are you feeling better” You asked quietly, averting your gaze to the floor, “You were really torn up when I found you-“

You were about to say more, when the stranger collapsed to his knees, and pained groan escaping his lips. His human hand dropped the knife he was holding, and reached up to grip at the large wound on his stomach, that still had yet to fully heal. You ran to his side, and noted that blood was seeping through his shirt. 

“Hold on,” You worriedly cried, “I’ll get more bandages and antiseptic!” 

You shoved your way through the junk and into the bathroom; grabbing a handful of supplies Janet left you before running back to the wounded man to assist you. Surprisingly, he let you lead him over to the couch without a fight, and continued to not put up a fuss as you set to work cleaning up his wound.

“Oh thank God, it’s not that bad,” You sighed relieved, as you dabbed some alcohol on his healing sore, causing him to wince, “I know this hurts, but it makes the wound much better. I was afraid maybe you had reopened it completely, but it just looks to be bleeding a little. If you rest for a bit you should be totally fine.”

As soon as you re-wrapped him up, he slumped back violently against your couch, causing you to jump. His head was hung down, dirty hair obscuring his face from you. You noticed that he was gripping and un-gripping his hands into fists incessantly which caused you to back away from him, scared he might turn violent again. 

After a few moments of silence you sighed deeply, and sat down roughly on the floor, “So… Who are you?” You asked gently, hoping to finally answer the riddle to whom this mysterious warrior was. But alas, your question seemed to fall on deaf ears when several moments passed by without a response.

You frowned, “Look… I understand you are hurt, and it’s very clear that you’ve been through quite a lot… But I’ve looked after you and healed you this past week without even the slightest clue of who you are. Against my better judgment, I did what you said and harbored you for this past week without telling anyone*, despite all the voices in the back of my brain telling me I’m crazy… I think I at least deserve a name, don’t I?”

Again moments passed with no response, and you were starting to wonder if maybe he had fallen asleep. You sighed in annoyance, and began to stand up, when his voice suddenly responded in a much softer tone than you’d imagine from him.

“My name… My name is…” 

Your eyes darted to him, and you let out a small gasp. This time, it was not out of fear however, but because the look on his face had changed so drastically from that of sheer malice, to that of someone so deeply lost and heartbroken that it hurt you just to look at him. His brilliant blue eyes looked positively aggrieved, and the way his tired voice cracked when he spoke spurred you heart into even greater sadness.

“… I have forgotten it.”

~

*’Who are you’ in Russian  
*’Where am I’ in Russian  
*You decided it’d be best not to mention Janet at this point

~

A/N: Poor Bucky. :( He needs some major hugs… But maybe not until after he helps you clean up the colossal mess he caused. Anyway, I hope you enjoyed this chapter! Sorry that it seemed to take so long to post! More in the future! Thanks for the read! :D 

P.S.- I added more Russian speaking Bucky because DAMN.


	4. Bucky

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> “Is there anything you’d like me to call you? I know you don’t remember your name yet, but I’d like to know you as something other than ‘stranger’..."

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Ahhhh! Hello everyone, Mothra here, and I want to apologize to you for the wait!!! You guys have been so awesome and patient with waiting for me to update that you all deserve virtual hugs and some Winter Soldier love!!!
> 
> Thank you all so much for all your kind reviews, kudos, and reads! You are all too good to me, and I really appreciate each and every one of you! Thank you so much!
> 
> I kinda got stuck writing this one, but I feel it turned out how it was supposed to in the end! I hope you all enjoy, and without further ado, here is chapter four! :D

‘OK… How exactly do I proceed from here?’

You awkwardly hung back a safe distance from your mystery stranger, your feet shuffling this way and that while your hands nervously pulled and twisted at the necklace you were wearing. The tension in the air was so thick you felt like you could cut it with a knife, and after getting such a downtrodden response from your earlier question, you were more than a little deterred about asking him anything else. You were wracking your brain thinking of a proper way to word things so as not to upset him further.

“So,” you spoke softly after several minutes, causing his ice blue stare to dart your way, “Um… Do you remember what happened to you at all? If your name isn’t coming to you right away, maybe you should focus on some recent events,” his stare was making you uncomfortable, and you fought to maintain your composure, “I-I mean, I don’t know if that will help at all… I just thought maybe it would.”

He looked away from you, staring hard into the distance. Nothing but heavy silence filled the air, and you were beginning to think he wouldn’t answer you at all, when he murmured a quiet response.

“I remember… a fight.” 

‘I could figure that much,’ you thought to yourself, but instead said, “OK, that’s good! I mean, fighting isn’t necessarily good, but it’s good that you remembered! Do you have any idea who you were fighting with?”

Again you were met with silence. However, this time, you noticed a dramatic twist in the stranger’s expression. His face clouded over, and his hands balled into tight fists. You noticed a slight quiver of his body, and it seemed like he may lash out at any second.

“That’s OK if you don’t,” you hurriedly responded, desperately trying to prevent any kind of outburst from him, “You have plenty of time to piece things together, don’t rush yourself! Right now you should just focus on healing and not push yourself too hard.”

Though you noticed that your words seemed to calm him somewhat, he also looked at you with pure confusion. In truth, you were confused as to why you were treating this man so kindly, yourself. But deep down beneath all his ruggedness, you felt as if you could detect a kind soul… someone worth looking after. Well, that was what you were praying for, at least...This man was such a baffling enigma, it was hard to really pinpoint much about him. Regardless, you’d take his confused gaze over a knife to your neck any day.

“Well,” You sighed, clapping your hands together softly, “You’ve been out for a while, I’d imagine you are a little famished,” you glanced back at the mess of your kitchen, “But then again, it appears you helped yourself to the kitchen. Are you still hungry, or can I get you anything to drink?”

He shook his head slightly, but made no sound in response. You sighed quietly, becoming a little agitated with the situation you found yourself in. You knew it was a long shot, but that didn’t stop you from hoping that when the man woke up things would go smoothly. You’d chat a little, figure out who he was, make sure he was well enough to make it on his own, maybe get a ‘thanks’, and he’d be on his way and you could go about your life. That, or he’d wake up but be too worn out and wounded to move for a few days, which would give you some time to figure him out and get to know him, hopefully forming a friendship of sorts. At least, that’s how you chose to play it out in your head. Instead, you were stuck with a near silent, unstable, and dangerous amnesiac who had in the span of waking up just a few hours ago almost killed you, tore your apartment apart, and severely pissed off your neighbor. You sighed again, this time louder, ‘What exactly did I get myself into?’

You were pulled from your thoughts when a familiar ditty began to play from your pocket. As you hurriedly fished your vibrating phone out of your pocket, you noted that the stranger shot you even more bizarre looks. Glancing down, you saw Janet’s name flashing up at you.

“Uh… I gotta take this,” You spoke, “I’m just gonna step out into the garage for a bit, I’ll be right back.”

You scurried out to the garage and composed yourself as best you could before answering your friend.

“Hey Janet!” You spoke, realizing immediately that you sounded way too enthusiastic.

“Hey darlin’,” You heard your friends cheery voice call back, “Just thought I’d call to check in on you and Wuffles! I miss you, love, how’s everything going back home?”

“Oh, it’s going great,” You exclaimed, cursing how bad you are at keeping your cool, “You know… Just working a lot and stuff… Oh, and Wuffles is fine! She’s been doing normal cat stuff, you know. No big deal. The two of us are just living life like normal… nothing out of the ordinary!”

“Huh… Alright,” The suspicious tone in your friend’s voice caused you to start sweating nervously, “You sound a little high strung (Name), are you sure everything is going OK?”

“Yeah, everything is fine! It’s just, you know I got off work a little bit ago, it was a busy day, still trying to wind down, all that jazz. Sorry if I seem a little manic,” You laughed nervously, “Anyway, enough about me, how’s your trip going? What have you and your sister been up to?”

“Oh we’re causing a ruckus as usual. The weather up here has been nice, so we’ve been out and about a lot. We’ve mainly been hitting up flea markets and thrift stores, but the other day we got really wild and made a trip down to the mall. I got you a present there. It’s really cute and just your style, so I hope you like it.”

You smiled, “I’m sure I will, but you know you didn’t have to get me anything!”

“I don’t have to do anything but die,” Janet laughed, “I wanted to get it for you, so I did! You’ll take it and like it!”

You laughed in response, “Alright, ma’am! Can’t say no to that! Anyway, I’m glad you and your sister are having a good time; you have to tell her I said hi. But I gotta go now Janet, so I’ll talk to you soon, OK?” You hated rushing your conversation, but you were getting nervous leaving the strange man unattended in your house for so long.

“Alright dear, it was great talking to you for a bit, but hey, one more thing before you go…”

“Sure, what is it?” You asked nervously, knowing in your heart who she’d ask about next.

“How is MSM doing… he isn’t awake yet, is he?”

“Uh no,” You lied, forcing yourself to sound as calm as you possibly could, “Not yet. Not even a peep. I think he’ll be out for at least a few more days…”

Janet was quiet for a bit, and you could almost feel her silently judging you. You just prayed you were a good enough voice actor to fool her. The last thing you needed was Janet worrying sick about you and coming home early, especially knowing how long she has been waiting, planning, and saving up for this trip. As much as you wished she was around to help, you just couldn’t do that to her.

“Well, that’s good to hear,” She finally responded, and you let out a small sigh of relief, “Hopefully he’ll stay asleep until I get back. But anyhow, I’ll let you get back to winding down. It was wonderful to hear your voice little dove, and I’ll see you shortly. Bye bye, now.”

“Can’t wait to hear from you again Janet. Bye.” You smiled, hanging up after your goodbye.

You stared at your phone for several seconds after hanging up, pondering what plan of action you should take next, when a thought struck you suddenly. You hurriedly pulled up your contacts, and paged through until you found just the one you needed. You quickly pressed on Maria’s name as soon as it appeared.

‘Of course,’ You thought to yourself, tapping your foot nervously as the phone began to ring, ‘why didn’t I think of calling her earlier?!I should have been talking to her all along, not dragging Janet into this! If anyone would know how to deal with a scary guy like MSM it’d be her. I mean, that’s pretty much her whole job. I’ll ask her opinion on what to do… Dammit, pick up!’

But alas, all you got was voicemail. After a few more fruitless attempts (and at least three voicemails left), you decided to call her at her S.H.I.E.L.D number, ‘She only told me to call her at that number in a dire emergency… But I feel like this situation is close enough to count as one.’

However, when you pressed the number to call, the only voice to reach your ears was a recording reciting over and over that the number was not available, and to try again.

‘That’s really bizarre,’ You wondered to yourself, trying several more times and getting the same response, ‘Why isn’t it connecting? Maria wouldn’t have given me a faulty number, especially as an emergency contact. And when she put it in my phone she at least quadruple checked to make sure it was the right number… Something isn’t right here at all.’

A heavy feeling settled in your chest as you added worrying about Maria on top of your never ending mountain of things to stress about. You concentration was broke when you heard a shuffle of motion inside of you apartment. With a tired sigh, you decided it was time to go back in and face the man.

When you entered back inside, you found he had made his way back into your kitchen. He seemed to have taken an interest in your microwave. He ran his hands over it carefully, looking at it intensely, as if he were trying to figure out a rather complicated puzzle. You coughed a little to get his attention, which seemed to startle him a tiny bit.

“So, did you decide you actually are still hungry? Can I get you anything?” You asked politely.

“… What is this thing?” He asked, his eyes darting from you, to your microwave. Your first thought was that he had to be joking, but the innocence in his voice and completely perplexed glances at the machine told you otherwise. 

“Well, it’s a microwave,” you stated simply, “… Haven’t you ever used one before?”

“… I’m… not sure.” He responded slowly, his face turning disgruntled as he searched his brain for any trace of ever using such a device.

“Well, here, let me show you,” You said, grabbing some mac and cheese out of a nearby pantry. You made you way to the sink and put in the water, and then proceeded to cautiously approach your microwave. He side stepped a small bit, allowing you to have easier access, but he was still incredibly close to you, “See, you just press the button to open it, and place your food in there, but make sure it’s in a microwave safe container before you do! A lot of plastics and stuff can melt in here or cause fires,” you glanced up at him a bit, your heart rate increasing at the close proximity of your bodies, “But anyway, once it’s in there, you just type in the time you want it to cook for on the number pad. For mac and cheese, its two minutes or so,” You typed in two minutes, and stood back as the microwave hummed to life, “and there you go! In two minutes, your mac and cheese will be ready to consume! Pretty neat, huh? I honestly don’t know how I’d live without my microwave.” You smiled at him, hoping to break up the still rather thick tension that hung around him.

“And that cooks your food?” He asked with a hard edge, sounding as if he couldn’t possibly believe such a thing would work.

“Well, not all food. I mean, you can’t put a raw chicken here, zap it for a few minutes, and then have it come out cooked. It’s mainly just for heating stuff up… I’m just kind of amazed that you never used one before.”

You both stood in awkward silence until the microwave dinged, and you took the hot noodles out of it, mixing the cheese into them. Once it was adequately mixed, you held it out to the man, “Here, you can have them… If you want them, that is.”

He hesitantly took it from you, and after a small nod, began to eat it.

You smiled softly, “Sorry it’s just microwave food… I don’t really make all that much money, so I usually end up getting just cheap stuff, especially the closer I get to pay day, which won’t be coming for another week… so sorry.” You weren’t sure why you were rambling an apology to a man who by all accounts should be thanking you instead, but for some reason, just the simple act of talking to him made you feel oddly good. Glancing up at him peacefully eating his mac and cheese made your smile a little wider, and you swore you began to feel a blush creeping onto your cheeks. 

“Well, anyway, I’m going to go change out of my work clothes, I’ll be right back,” you spoke, as you started to make your way towards your room, “But hey, I do have a question for you,” he momentarily stopped eating, his gaze meeting yours, “Is there anything you’d like me to call you? I know you don’t remember your name yet, but I’d like to know you as something other than ‘stranger’, you know what I mean?”

Familiar silence followed your question, as the man stared pointedly at you, his expression blank. Your lips parted to tell him to forget about it, when his voice promptly cut you off.

“Bucky,” He spoke quietly, in a wistful tone. The expression on his face as he spoke made it seem as if just saying it brought on a flood of heart break mixed with happiness, “… you can call me Bucky.”

“Bucky,” You repeated to yourself, the smile growing ever larger on your lips, “I like it. It suits you.”

This time, though it was very brief, it was his turn to smile at you.

~

A/N: Microwave ovens weren’t invented until after WW2, so Buck is a little confused... How did people eat before WW2?! :P Anyhow, at this point, both you and Bucky are just generally confused, and he’s super sad and pretty angry… just all around sort of upset. We’ll see how it progresses from here. :D

And there you have it, folks! Chapter four! Here’s to the next one coming out far sooner! I hope you enjoyed, and thank you for the read!!!


	5. Confusion

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> The events up till now from Bucky's POV.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hello everyone! Mothra here FINALLY delivering the fifth chapter of Wrecked! WOO HOO! I’m so sorry it took so long, I am such a butt. :(
> 
> Anyway, I like to call this chapter ‘Bucky is very confused and can’t remember anything other than Cap (kinda), HYDRA fucking him up, and that he may or may not be in their grasps which he doesn’t want at all’ but it wouldn’t fit properly in the chapter title box. :P
> 
> Also, this chapter is supposed to be from Bucky’s POV. I’ve never written a chapter like that before, so it’s experimental. Let me know what you think! I know I’ve always been rather partial to them when I read reader insert fanfics, so I thought I’d give it a go!
> 
> Other than that, THAT YOU SO MUCH FOR ALL THE KIND REVIEWS, COMMENTS, READS, AND KUDOS! You guys are all absolutely marvelous and I can’t thank you enough for giving my story the time of day! Thank you, thank you, thank you!
> 
> One more thing before you start reading: I plan to start posting progress and update reports on my profile, so if you guys ever want to know how a fic is coming along I’m taking a while to update it, I’ll make sure to let you know there!
> 
> Now read on, lovelies!

“I’m with you till the end of the line.”

Those words rushed repeatedly through his head. Over and over they echoed deep inside him, reverberating throughout his body, filling him with a nostalgic ache. Even with his hand crushing this man’s throat, beating him mercilessly and tirelessly, pummeling him with his all, and taking him so close to death all it would take was one more hit from his metallic fist… Even then, this man looked at him with nothing but tender sentiment. It was a look reserved for only those closest to you, not a programmable husk who is trying to obliterate you. 

He didn’t understand it. He didn’t understand this man. He didn’t understand this situation. 

As this ‘hero of the people’, the world’s Captain America, the mighty avenger, spoke those words to him, he unwillingly shivered. Pinning him down, posed for that final blow, he remained frozen. Something deep inside him lurched, and a horrendous pain hammered away at his heart. Those words, though foreign, were all too familiar. This man below him, caked in blood, body in tatters, was all too familiar. 

His mind, body, and heart screamed in a violent agony, his voice following suit.

First, he watched as Captain America lifelessly fell. And then, he came hurtling after.

~

The next thing he remembered was being underwater.  
His body came to with a violet jerk, every inch of him consumed in horrible pain. Pain was no stranger to him, however, and as the cold water engulfed his ragged form, he welcomed it’s frozen, fluid embrace. This was it, he thought. This was how it would all end.

But then he saw him out of the corner of his eye, limply floating by. He appeared as nothing more that a blurry mass of blue and red being jostled about gently by the slight current, helpless and fragile. For reasons he still could not fathom, this sight broke his heart. 

With strength he didn’t know he had left, he bolted through the water; grabbing Captain America roughly by the arm before the current could distance them farther. He should leave him there, watching as the water swallows him whole, leaving nothing but a soggy, beaten corpse. That was his mission, after all, to defeat Captain America, and for the longest time, his mission was the only purpose in his life. It was the only thing that mattered and that made sense. But as his mechanical arm grasped on to the Avenger, the importance of it all fled his body. The only thing that made any sense at that moment was to save him.

So he fought, and clawed, and pushed at the watery tomb until he broke the surface, his lungs heaving in anguish a he took heavy, deep breaths to relieve them. He wasted no time in dragging himself and Cap to the shore, throwing the broken hero roughly against the grainy beach as he made it to land. 

For quite some time, he glared down at the man, not moving a muscle. A fear passed through his body that maybe he was too late, that their final fall must have done him in. His heart pounded achingly in his chest, which made his anger mount. Why was this person so important to him?! Why did he care so much?

The man began to cough. First softly, then more violently, expelling large amounts of water from within his lungs. A rush of relief swept over his body. Of course he wasn’t dead. He felt ashamed for even worrying.

And so, with the realization this man would go on surviving, he began to walk. He had no idea where, he just knew he had to get out of there, and get away from him. He needed a place far, far away to figure things out, to figure himself out. And more importantly, he needed to find a shelter from his demons… both the physical ones who made him, as well as the ones roaring incessantly inside him.

~

Who knew how long he had been walking at this point. 

The sun had long since set when he stumbled into the residential neighborhood. Every part of his body continued to be wracked with a persistent, violent pain. Every wound he had garnered from his earlier battle was bleeding out, causing his body to become unpleasantly sticky and wet. His eyes grew heavy from total exhaustion, and his body wavered and shook intensely with every step he took. Waves of pain shot through him with the tiniest of movements, and it had become very hard to breathe. He felt like a fish flopping desperately out of water.

Nearing the end of his limits, his blurred vision landed upon a garage near him. He stumbled over to it, wedging his bionic fingers underneath the heavy door. He pried it open in one fell swoop, letting it drop back down with a loud crash once he had crossed the threshold. 

Though it was dark, his eyes had long since adjusted, and even in his haze he could see he was utterly alone in the garage. He took a few more shuffled steps before his body could do no more. He let himself plummet to the ground, hard. Cold, wounded, alone, confused, his breathing became more and more shallow, his heart rate lowering and lowering, until he finally let himself succumb to the darkness.

~

And then he was moving.

Yes, his arm was definitely moving, but not by his doing. It had been gently lifted, and was being turned this way and that. His mind still very much clouded over, he had no idea who could be here with him… Where ever this place was…

Overwhelmingly, memories began to bombard his mind... memories of the people who made him. Yes… HYDRA. That’s who this person had to be. They must have found him. He should have known better, they always find him and drag him back.

He grabbed at the figure roughly, whipping them around so that they were face to face with him. Their face was far too shadowy to make out with his weary eyes, but the person felt… small. It took him nearly no effort at all to turn them towards him. Regardless, as an agent of Hydra, they were still a threat. This time… He didn’t want to go back without a fight.

Glaring at the figure menacingly, trying to collect his bearings, he went to speak. Instead of words, however, painful, turbulent coughs tore through his body. He let go of the figure, his body flinging to the floor in sheer agony. 

“Hey it’ll be OK,” In the midst of the pain, the figure called to him. He was surprised to hear them speak in English, and even more surprised at the worried, gentle tone in their voice. Why did they sound so concerned over him? Weren’t they just going to drag him back, rebuild him, wipe him clean, and start anew? Wasn’t that how it always worked? The fretful waver in this person’s voice gave him hope, however… a small glimmer of hope that this person may actually want to help him.

He heard the person move slowly closer to him, and with a quick side glance he could also see a tentative hand come his way, “Look, I’ll call an ambulance-“ Their small voice began to speak, but he latched on solidly to their hand, noticing them wince with pain at his touch.

“Het,” He spoke, guttural and deep, “Don’t. Call. Anyone.” He accented each syllable, his eyes holding steadfastly to the figures for several moments.

As he once again slipped away into unconsciousness, he managed to get one solid look at the eyes of the person who found him. As his eyes began to close, he couldn’t help but think how lovely they seemed, shining at him through the dark.

~

The next several hours were even more of a blur as he slipped in and out of consciousness, fighting back the pain as he felt steady hands set to work on him.  
He thought about lashing out, about trying to escape… But for some reason, the hands tending to him felt far gentler, forgiving, even loving, than any Hydra scientists he had ever encountered before. So he continued to let them work on him, giving them the rare gift of his trust.

The set of hands that worked on him currently seemed rather nervous, and despite their gentleness, every now and again would add greatly to his pain by pressing too hard, or hitting the wrong area. He grimaced, holding in a groan. The last thing he wanted was to show any more vulnerability than he already had.

“I’m sorry,” he heard a gentle feminine voice murmur distortedly, as if it were coming through a speaker system, “I can only imagine how much this all hurts. But trust me, I’m being as gentle as I can…”

The kindness in those words had an instant calming effect on him, putting his body at ease. He found the voice comforting… pleasing. He wouldn’t mind hearing them speaking again… in fact, he wanted to hear them speak again… But before they could, the darkness once again claimed him.

~

“I still can’t believe you took him in,” a very familiar young man stood across from him, blue eyes twinkling, a huge smile lighting up his entire face, “Who’d a thought you’d be a cat person?”

He smirked, staring down at the tiny mewling kitten that resided in his lap, “Yeah, well what was I supposed to do, he followed me home! And besides he’s just so small and helpless looking… I guess he just reminded me of you.” He finished by reaching over and giving the much smaller man a playful shove on the shoulder.

“Ha ha, very funny,” the man shot back, shooting him and unamused glare, “… Anyway, it was awful kind of you to take him in. I know most people that see strays on the streets of Brooklyn just look the other way. The little guy was sure to be a goner without you.”

He smiled softly, running a gentle thumb across the small creatures back, receiving a happy mew in response, “Yeah, well don’t give me all the credit, this little guy found me, not vice versa. And besides, I’ve been meaning to get a pet to lighten things up around here, ya know? So really, we’re mutually helping each other.”

The smaller man laughed, clapping him on the shoulder, “You’re a good man, Buck.”

“I try to be,” he shrugged slightly, a small chuckle falling from his lips as his eyes continued focusing on the ball of fuzz who was nuzzling gently against his hand…

~

Soft touches made his eyes lift slowly, tearing him away from his dream.

He heard a purring noise, and upon further inspection, he could see it was coming from the foot of the bed he was in. Lifting his head slowly, he saw a small cat perk up at the sight of his movements, and gracefully bound his way, stopping on his right side. The cat gently started to lick his hand, before nudging at it with its head. Small meows escaped the kitty’s mouth as it stared at him expectantly with wide eyes, purring pleasantly in his presence.

Gradually, he lifted his hand. His body creaked with every small move, aches throbbing away here and there. How long had he been out for? It felt like quite some time… But even with all his aches, he felt much better than he did before.

His hand made its way to the cat’s body, patting and scratching it peacefully. The cat gave into his affections, purring noisily and rubbing all up on him. A ghost of a smile danced on his face, as he let himself enjoy this small moment of peace.

After several minutes, the cat jumped away, leaving him alone with his thoughts. ‘Where am I,’ He thought to himself groggily, his eyes darting across the room he was in. By all means, it appeared to be a normal bed room, and a rather messy one at that. There was a large dresser beside him, topped with a various array of photos and trinkets. A vanity sat in the corner, miscellaneous jewelry and accessories splayed across it. Random articles of clothing were strewn across the floor haphazardly. 

He began to force himself upright, taking frequent breaks to collect himself and calm the pain. After several minutes, he found himself in a seated position, legs hanging freely over the side of the bed. He took the time to check his wounds over and see how he was faring, and was surprised to see that he was doing quite well. All the major, life threatening injuries his body had detained had been neatly sutured up and cared for, and looked to be well on the way to recovery (except for the major one on his stomach, that still seemed to need some more time to really heal). All his smaller injuries were nearly nonexistent. Whoever cared for him certainly did a bang up job.

His body froze at that thought, ‘Who did patch me up… Where exactly am I,’ his eyes darted around the far too domestic of a setup, an anger slowly snaking its way into his body, ‘I must be in Hydra’s grasps… All of this is some kind of setup to trick me and lure me into a false sense of security. The more domestic the setting, the more safe I will feel… I won’t go down without a fight this time… Not until I find out who HE is.’

His eyes befell his war torn clothes heaped in a pile in the corner opposite him. Slowly, his stood, shuffling his stiff form over to them quietly, hoping his movements wouldn’t alert anyone who may be in the building of him coming to. He leaned down to the pile, quickly digging through in hopes of finding his dagger. Unfortunately, he was out of luck.

He let out a low, frustrated growl, scanning the room to see if there was anything else he may use as a weapon. In the state he was in currently, he wasn’t sure how easily he’d be able to fend off any of HYDRA’s agents. He needed all the help he could get.

 

After some brief digging, he came upon a (fav animal) shaped book end that had quite a heft to it. Gripping it fiercely in his hand, he inched his way to the door, opening it just barely so that he could glance at what awaited him past the threshold.

His eyes scoured your small apartment with a deep scrutiny. He held his breath, ears straining to hear any sign that another human being was in his presence. Unable to discern that anyone was nearby, he decided to venture out further.

Cautiously he examined his surroundings. It didn’t take long for him to search the entire place, closets and all, finding no one to greet him. More confused than ever, his anger continued to mount. Whatever the hell the people that caught him were planning, he wished vehemently that they would just get it over with already.

He began to tear the place apart, starting with the living room. He tore throw desks and drawers feverishly, hunting through papers and pictures to find any clue at all about where he was and who was holding him captive. He furiously shoved aside furniture, toppling electronic devices (some of which he had never seen in his life) this way and that to uncover anything at all that may tell him something.

After several minutes of violent searching he collapsed in a tired, sweaty, heap on the living room floor. He slammed his fists down next to him, causing the floor to shudder roughly, and the cat he had greeted earlier to flee for its life. He gritted his teeth scouring his brain for something, anything that would make sense at this moment…

His stomach suddenly let out a loud grumble, making it come to his attention just how hungry he was. He whipped his head to the side, staring at the kitchen with a deep yearning. He pushed himself up, and stomped his way over to the kitchen, wasting no time tearing that room to shreds as well. He had no idea who had took him in, but whoever it was still needed him alive, or else they wouldn’t have gone to the trouble of fixing him up… so they wouldn’t mind him filling himself up as well, right?

As he furiously indulged himself on the lootings of the kitchen, a loud pounding soon rang in his ears from across the way. Pausing in his feast, he glanced at the door menacingly as whoever was behind it continued to bang and bang, louder and louder. An intimidating look befell his form as he grabbed hold of a large kitchen knife that was resting near the sink, and tucked it away behind his back, hidden from view. He threateningly prowled over to the door, ready to come face to face with HYDRA, or whoever else was there to take him on.

When he swung the door open, however, he wasn’t prepared for the person that stood before him.

“Hey pal,” the squatty little man spoke. His face was rather red, and the way he tapped his foot nonstop along with the way his arms crossed his chest tightly suggested that he was more than a little ticked off, “Do you think you could maybe keep it down a bit? Christ, with all your banging around it feels like the whole damn complex is going to collapse.”

It was quite apparent this man was of no threat to him. However, being in his presence any longer wasn’t necessary, either.

“Оставлять*,” he growled, his eyes glaring menacingly into the shorter man’s.

“Excuse me?” The man questioned. Though there was still anger in his voice, Bucky could see sweat forming on his forehead, and he seemed to begin to shrink a little. He was scaring this man; something a HYDRA agent wouldn’t allow happening.

“Poshel von**,” he snarled, prostrating himself to his full height, moving so that he was mere inches from the tiny man in front of him, his animalistic eyes never once leaving his, “СООБЩЕНИЕ***.”

The man faltered at his booming voice, shuffling as far away from him as he could.

“Jesus,” the man exclaimed, “To think she went from that nice boy to an asshole like you! But whatever, she always seemed to be a dimwit,” He began to storm off down the hall, screaming over his shoulder as he fled, “If you don’t fucking quiet down, I won’t hesitate to call the cops!”

Once the man was gone, he retreated back into the apartment, settling himself down at the table in the kitchen. He rested his elbows on the wooden surface, placing his throbbing head between his hands. None of this made any sense at all, and it was killing him. Sitting around, unsure of who is watching him, and too worried who may get ahold of him if he leaves on his own (he’d be far too weak to fight back in this state, both mentally, and physically), was slowly breaking him down… He needed to figure things out, and soon. But the screaming pain that had mounted in his head continued to forbid him from focusing.

He happened to glance around at the things lying about on the table, when his eyes befell a framed picture. He gently placed his hand on it, lifting it slowly to his face to get a better look. A girl stood at the foot of a flight of stairs, donned in a cap and gown as if she had just graduated. The small, neatly rolled and tied piece of paper in her hands cemented this fact. Beside her was an older man and woman, and judging by how their looks he could surmise they were this girl’s parents. All of them had huge smiles on their faces, the girls being the brightest of all. They were genuinely happy in this picture, and seeing it almost made him want to smile as well. It turned something in the back of his mind, a memory of a place and time he couldn’t quite place. As he continued to stare at it, he could feel himself start to calm down more and more. His eyes lingered on the girl’s face the longest, as he brushed some dust off her with his thumb. Her eyes seemed so familiar for some reason…

His thoughts were cut short by the grumble of what sounded like a car pulling up next to the apartment. He sprang up, bounding towards the shadowy nook of the hallway that leads to the bedroom. He crouched in the shadows, unsheathing the knife and brandishing it with an iron grip. He steadied his breathing, prepping himself mentally for what would happen next.

‘HYDRA will finally make their move,’ He thought, as he heard a car door slam, followed by a small, slow shuffle of a person moving towards the apartment, ‘They will try and take me again by any means necessary. I can’t fall for any of this… I can’t let that happen.’

After several moments, his ears finally picked up on the door squeaking open. He prepared himself, ready to lunge on whoever greeted him around the corner. However, surprise took over and halted any further attack plans when his eyes befell who had entered the building.

A young girl came into view, a deeply upset look plastered on her face, fear dancing in her eyes. She was dressed in a rather frumpy uniform, and her hair looked windswept and messy. Despite this, she looked like a normal girl, not threatening, and most definitely not someone HYDRA would hire to keep watch over him… But maybe that was the point? To hire an agent who was so inconspicuous he wouldn’t even dream of her being a threat? That had to be it. He frowned deeply, his eyes set on the girl as she made her way over to the spot where he had just been seated.

“Fuck,” he heard her whisper, watching as her small hands reached up to pull on her hair, “This is a disaster…” She went to lean down, and he realized this was his chance.

He pounced from the shadows, closing the distance between them in mere seconds. He grabbed her from behind, thrusting her toward him roughly, and pinning her down against him so that she had no way of moving. He took the knife, holding it directly under her neck, pressing just enough so as she’d have no leeway to move. As he held her, he could fell her body quaking in fear, and listened as small, scared whimpers escaped her lips. This all seemed so wrong… A HYDRA agent in charge of him wouldn’t be held down this easily, even if it was all just a ruse… right? He growled in frustration, bringing his mouth down next to her ear.

“Kto Tbi,” He gutturally grunted, taking in the surprisingly sweet scent of the girl, “gde nakhozhus?”

“I-I’m n-n-not sure what you are saying, but please don’t kill me with my own kitchen knife!” Her small voice stuttered, which left him feeling unexpectedly guilty. Still, he questioned on.

“Who are you,” He demanded roughly, shaking the girl’s body a bit as he spoke, “What is this place?”

“My name is (Name),” She responded. He could tell by the waver in her voice that she was fighting hard to regain her composure, and losing, “You are in my apartment… You showed up here deeply wounded about a week ago. I took you in.”

His frown deepened, “Who do you work for?! Are you an agent?”

This question seemed to confuse her terribly, as she responded, “No…? I… I’m a customer service representative.”

Much like the man in the hall, it was becoming increasingly obvious this girl was no threat at all. He clung to her for a moment, still holding on to the thought that she may be an assassin… He had seen that many times before, even worked with a few girls you’d never dream would be as deadly as they were. But as he continued to hold her shivering form roughly in his arms he just continued to feel guiltier, another feeling didn’t get. 

He sighed heavily, shoving her aside, causing her to stumble away, but surprisingly not fall. His sharp eyes stayed trained on her, watching as she collected herself for a few minutes. As she slowly turned around, he took in a sharp intake of breath. As his eyes met hers, he realized that she was the girl from the picture. Her brilliant smile was lost in his presence, and instead was replaced by a worn out look of fear. 

“Um… Are you feeling better” her small voice called to him, as her lovely (eye color) eyes averted from his, “You were really torn up when I found you-“

She was cut off as he fell in a heap to the floor, a gasp of agony escaping his mouth. He had been so concerned about preparing to fight that he hadn’t even become aware of the fact that he had reopened one of his wounds. He cursed himself, as he dropped his knife to grip at the bloody mass on his stomach.

The girl rushed to his side immediately, telling him to hold tight as she ran from the room. It dawned on him that this had to be it. She was bringing in reinforcements, and they’d finally drag him away to that god awful lab, where he’d be tweaked and reprogrammed until he was once again the perfect killing machine. He felt a hot wetness start to come to his eyes, but he fought it back. This was his life now, no use crying over it.

When she came back, he let her lead him without a fight, which seemed to surprise her. However, what surprised him was that she didn’t lead him away, or call anyone else in to take him… She simply took him to her couch, setting him down gently, and began to set to work fixing his wound.

“Oh thank God, it’s not that bad,” she sighed in relief as she dabbed away at his healing sore, causing him to wince, “I know this hurts, but it makes the wound much better. I was afraid maybe you had reopened it completely, but it just looks to be bleeding a little. If you rest for a bit you should be totally fine.”

After she had cleaned him up and rewrapped him, he flung himself forcibly back, letting his head land with a ‘thud’ against the back of the chair, ‘Why? Why is any of this happening? Who is this girl if she is not with HYDRA? Why did she take me in...,’ He could feel her get restless beside her, a nervous tension palpable in the air. She was frightened of him, and as much as he hated it, she had every right to be. He gripped his hand so hard his nails pierced his palm, causing it to bleed.

‘I shouldn’t have made it out of that fall… That fight should have ended me.’

He heard the girl’s soft, shuddering breaths beside him, her tender voice once again reaching his ears, “So… Who are you?”

The question snaked its way into his brain, constricted his thoughts, and made him psychically ill. Yes, that was the million dollar question, wasn’t it? Who was he? His first instinct was to say The Winter Soldier, but he kept his mouth shut. That wasn’t his name and wasn’t who he truly was. He had been molded that way, forced into that persona. But he wasn’t born that… Scouring his brain only made his headache worse as the question kept buzzing round and round emptily. 

“Look… I understand you are hurt, and it’s very clear that you’ve been through quite a lot… But I’ve looked after you and healed you this past week without even the slightest clue of who you are. Against my better judgment, I did what you said and harbored you for this past week without telling anyone, despite all the voices in the back of my brain telling me I’m crazy… I think I at least deserve a name, don’t I?”

The girl spoke again, and though he knew there was quite a chance she could be lying, he felt she was telling the truth. He felt like he could believe her, trust her, even. But still, even in the midst of a potential ally, no memory of who he was prior came to his head. All he dug up was more pain.

She sighed, and he could tell she was getting rather agitated. She stood up, causing him to hurriedly say anything to let her know he was trying.

“My name… my name…,” Soft words escaped his cracked lips, garnering the girls attention. As she turned to him, she stopped stone cold in her tracks, a light gasp escaping her lips. Glancing up at her, he noted that intense dismay on her face, and realized it had to be because of him. Even though all the reconditioning ‘treatments’ he’s been through, he always was prone to being emotional, much to HYRDA’s annoyance.

His voice faltered as he opened his mouth to speak again, “… I have forgotten it.”

With those words, he hoped that his feeling about you was right. 

With that declaration, he was putting all his trust in you.

 

*Leave in Russian  
** Go Away In Russian  
*** Now in Russian

~

A/N: And there you have it, kids. A long ass wait for a retelling of a prior chapter. *Cries* I hope I didn’t disappoint!

Anyway, more Bucky head canons: CATS. SNUGGLY BUCKY WITH CATS. Yes.

And as always, Russian. I highly doubt the Russian in this fic is correct. I am relying on an online translator, after all. :/

As always, thank you for the read! The next chapter will be on its way in less time, so stay tuned!!!


	6. The First Three Days

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Things certainly were awkward and stressful with him around... Did you really make the right choice with taking him in?

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Soooooo, hey guys! Long time no see! *nervous laughter* Mothra here after FOREVER with the next chapter of Wrecked, FINALLY! Yay! I am really sorry it took so long to get this up, I have been so caught up with other things that this chapter fell by the wayside. I apologize. :(
> 
> Anyway, a super big shout out and hug to all you wonderful and glorious people out there who continue to read, review, and give kudos to this story. You are all amazing, and again, I am so sorry for making you wait so long. :(
> 
> With that being said, read on, my little moth’s and enjoy!!! :D

For the three days following his awakening, you and the self-named Bucky settled in quite awkwardly under the same roof.

~

On day one, after you had woken (if that’s what you could even call it after such a lack of sleep) and gotten into a change of clothes, you came out into the living room to be with the man. He had already risen, and despite it being a new day, still didn’t seem much in the mood for talking. Occasionally, you’d ask a question or two, but all the responses were short and to the point, if he even responded at all. So you mainly just sat uncomfortably, wondering what you should say or do next…

About two hours had passed when you started to get incredibly bored. Bucky seemed preoccupied with looking through your bookshelf, so you took the time to go to your room and grab your laptop. Bucky watched with intent eyes as you padded back into the living room, laptop in hand, and plopped down, flipping the machine open and on in the process. You had just typed in your passcode when his voice drew your attention.

“What’s in that small box? Why is light coming out of it?”

You looked into his puzzled eyes, a confused frown forming on your lips, “… Are… Are you making a joke?” ‘OK, the microwave was pretty weird, but he also doesn’t remember what a laptop is?! Just how advanced is his amnesia?!’ You thought to yourself worriedly.

Judging by the even more puzzled look that befell his features, you realized that he wasn’t, “This is my laptop. It’s a little computer, for like, searching the internet and stuff,” you turned the computer over, flashing the screen his way, “see? Mine’s pretty old, but it still works well enough.”

A small amount of recognition came to his features the more he looked at it, as if slowly the memory of such a device was dawning on him, “I just saw you type into it…” He spoke slowly, as he made his way closer to you, his eyes not coming off the screen.

“Yeah,” you responded, turning your computer back your way, “I was actually seeing if maybe I could find some kind of missing persons report for this area or surrounding ones. If we find something matching your description, it could be a start to recovering your memories,” you looked up at the man, who had made his way behind you, “although, I’m not sure you want to go back to the people who are looking for you if they did all that damage in the first place.”

He looked at you and nodded, and put his eyes back on the screen, “I doubt you’ll find anything. Those who are looking for me won’t be so public about it.”

You didn’t quite know how to take his words, “Um… Well, let’s give it a try anyway, shall we?”

After quite a bit of web browsing, you came back empty handed (which really wasn’t surprising, your community wasn’t all that big, after all). You sighed deeply, “Well, looks like you are right. I found nothing. Guess we’ll have to look elsewhere.”

You went to close your computer, when with a swift movement, Bucky reached over and clasped his hand on yours, startling you.

“Don’t close it yet,” he spoke evenly, his eyes, boring down into yours, “I… Can you show me what else this machine can do?”

Maybe it was in the way his voice sounded so innocent when he asked, or the proximity of his body positioned over yours, but your heart started beating so wildly that you couldn’t think straight.

“S-sure,” you stuttered, noting that his large, warm hand still held fast to yours, “I’ll show you.”

He loosened his grip, and made his way around the sofa, placing himself closely next to you. You fought to keep your cool as for the next few hours you showed him everything you could think of, from how to open and use Microsoft word, to random cat videos on Youtube. During those hours, you got the rigged man to loosen up a bit. He began to talk more and ask more questions about the world and the technology in it, which you were more than happy to tell him everything you knew. You even took pride in getting him to (ALMOST) smile once or twice. Just as you both started to finally get comfortable, a familiar noise broke up the moment.

Well, a familiar noise to YOU at least; you were well aware that the swish followed by a thud was Wuffles coming in through the cat entryway you had installed in the door that lead to your garage space. You had gotten so sick of her constant meowing to let her in and out that you had finally just put the door in, which she quickly made use of (and often). So though you knew it was no threat, Bucky did not.

Upon hearing the noise, he bolted up quick as lightning, toppling the small table in front of you, spilling the items that remained on it to the floor and shattering a glass that had been resting on the edge. With heavy footsteps, he pounded threateningly into the hall, his metal arm violently reflecting the harsh florescent lights that lined the entry hallway.

“Кто там*,” he hollered, his voice guttural and piercing. It was a voice that demanded to be heard, and caused a cold child to run down your spine. It made you remember: this is a man who should be feared.

“Bucky, it’s just the ca-“ You went to speak, when an ear splitting crash came to your ears.

Hurriedly, you set down the computer and ran to see what had happened. A shocked gasp escaped your lips as your hand flew up to cover your aghast frown.

Wuffles shot past you as you hustled by, scared to death of what had just occurred. Your eyes fell on Bucky, who stood with his back to you, his metallic fist square through your wall. He had hit with so much force that nearly his whole arm had gone through. He slowly pulled it out, causing the hole to grow, and as you focused your attention on the damage, you could see that many cracks (some small, but most large) had formed around the hole, making the entire wall look as if with one forceful shove, the whole thing could crumble completely.

Once his arm was out, he turned around to face you.

“… I thought they had found me.” 

Though you were extremely angered about the damage he had just delivered, and even more upset that he didn’t apologize, the wounded look on his face ended any outbursts that may have passed your lips.

You sighed heavily, and ran a hand through your hair, “It’s OK… just… Just try and remember where you are, alright? There are no “bad guys” here, I promise. Myself and Wuffles are harmless. You can chill out a little.”

He looked at you, and gave a curt nod. Before he turned back away, you swore you saw a flash of remorse for what he had just done pass over his features. But then again, it was too quick to really tell.

~

It was the morning of the second day since Bucky had awoken, and you were starting to have some serious doubts about letting him stay in your house.

‘I’m acting completely irrational, here,’ You thought to yourself as you stared out your window after your second night of little-to-no sleep, watching as the sun crept slowly into the air, ‘Seriously, what am I doing?! I know NOTHING about this man other than that he is SUPER strong and allegedly has some REALLY bad people after him that may or may not bust through my door any minute to take him away. What would become of me if that happened? Would they take me, too? Is any of this really worth it?! I mean, he’s already disheveled my house, eaten nearly all my food, and punched a HUGE hole in my wall and has done virtually nothing to help me out NOR apologized or thanked me for ANTHING! What’s next?! Will he end up putting a hole through me?! You know what? I don’t want to find out. I’m going to get up, go out there, and give that guy a piece of my mind!’

So you proceeded to roll out of bed, and in a huff, you prepared for the day. After you had composed yourself, you looked in your mirror, and with a deep breath you steeled yourself for the conversation that was about to take place.

“Give him till the end of the day today to get out,” you whispered fiercely to yourself, gripping your hands into tight fists whilst you spoke, “You gotta be strong here, (Name). He won’t hurt you, and if he tries, just call the police. The station is close by, so they should be able to get here before he kills you. I think. Now shut up because you are talking yourself out of this and you look and sound like a crazy person.”

Slowly, you opened your bedroom door, cellphone gripped in hand with the police’s number at the ready to call, just in case things started to get ugly. You swallowed hard, and with a forceful shove, you pushed the door all the way open and made your way out into your apartment.

What met your eyes threw you for a loop.

The whole apartment had been cleaned up. Chairs and tables were up righted, papers and Knick knacks piled on top of them in a semi-organized fashion. Everything was off the floor and put back on tables and shelves. All that had been broken was scooted over to the side in a small, neat pile, waiting to be either fixed or tossed. 

You walked around quietly, mouth ajar at what you were seeing. Did Bucky do all this? He had to of.

As you approached your couch, you glanced down at it, finding the man in question lazily draped upon it in a deep slumber. Your eyes traveled to his face, noting the content, childlike look held upon it. His chest rose and sunk rhythmically, and the whole scene radiated a peaceful aura. To top it all off, in the crook of his neck all curled up and purring was a snoozing Wuffles, who looked just as satisfied as he did. Seeing him in this state made it hard to believe he could be threatening at all, leaving you feeling rather ridiculous when you remembered the police number still sat patiently on the phone in your hand, awaiting your call. You stifled a small laugh, and beamed down at the man with a huge smile on your face.

You grabbed a throw off the chair next to you, and gently draped it over the man, causing him to stir slightly, but not awaken.

“You are making this really hard on me, you know it?” You whispered to him before deciding to try and go back to sleep yourself.

~

You awoke to the sound of movement in the kitchen. 

Groggily, you opened your eyes to find the couch next to you empty, the throw that had covered Bucky pushed to the side. You bolted upright, causing you to feel a bit lightheaded. How could you have fallen asleep so easily while being THAT close to him?! Had you really become that comfortable with his presence already?!

Your eyes traveled over to the kitchen, where Bucky was sitting at your small, two-seater kitchen table. He had a mug in one hand, and the newspaper sprawled out in front of him on the table. To his left there was a plate with nothing but crumbs on it, and next to that one was a full plate.

You stood, and cautiously approached him as he read, “Hey,” you said tentatively, causing him to glance up for no more than three seconds from his paper, “… I… uh, I see you made yourself breakfast.”

“This one is for you.” He spoke calmly, shoving the full plate your way a bit.

Your eyes widened in surprise, “Oh, uh, thank you! That was very thoughtful of you!”

With no response to your words, you placed yourself in the chair next to him and pulled the plate closer to you. You poked at the food on it a bit before cautiously taking a bite,  
stunned to find it was quite delicious.

“Wow Bucky, this is really good,” you smiled warmly, “Maybe before you got amnesia you were a chef of some kind?”

“I doubt it.” Was all he responded as he continued to feverishly scour the paper.

“Well, don’t count it out just yet… By the way, what are you looking for?” You quietly asked him before shoveling another bite into your mouth.

“Anything that makes sense, or anything out of the ordinary.”

“… Any luck?”

He sighed heavily and put down the paper roughly, “No.”

You nodded, and sat in an uneasy silence with the man. After several minutes, you worked up the courage to speak again.

“Hey, I want to thank you for tidying up my apartment,” you stared hard down at the plate in front of you. For some reason or another, saying these words to him made you feel awfully embarrassed. Maybe it was because just hours ago you had planned on screaming at him until he left your house… funny how things work out.

“Well, I was the one to destroy it in the first place,” his voice was much softer this time as he spoke, causing you to look up at him.

“Yeah, that is true,” you laughed lightly, “But still, thank you.”

You were going to say more, but as your eyes met his deep gaze, you found your mind void of doing little more than bask in the enjoyment of being in his presence. The way his eyes held onto yours made you feel like you were the only two people in the entire universe. His gaze was intimate and powerful, and you could feel a familiar heat rise in your checks the longer you looked at him. You couldn’t help but wonder what he was thinking in those moments, and secretly you hoped that thoughts were of you…

For the rest of that day, you and Bucky did little talking to each other. But instead of the silences being uncomfortable, it had taken on a relaxed sort of familiarity. You were beginning to understand Bucky more and more, and though you weren’t positive, you felt he was starting to understand you as well.

~

The third day was devoted to throwing yourselves into trying to decode who Bucky was.

You took him to your city’s library, and though your city was quite small, its library was something to be marveled. One of the biggest and most well stocked libraries in the state; it was yet another reason why you loved living where you lived so much. Stepping through its doors felt like stepping into your second home.

“Alright Bucky, let’s get to work.”

And so the day was spent with Bucky looking mostly through old newspapers and records to see if he could get a better clue as to who he was, and you pouring over books and articles about the nature of Amnesia, and how to deal with it/remember things. You both read viciously until your eyes burned, delving into article after article and book after book, only taking breaks for the bathroom and to get some food. 

As the sun was starting to sink in the sky, you decided it was high time to head home. You left the library deflated and discouraged. Even with all your scouring, you and Bucky were as much in the dark as ever. With a weak, lopsided grin you looked up at the worn out man, “Well… We can always come again tomorrow.”

~

After you had both arrived home, you decided to unwind by watching some TV. You flung yourself down on the couch and began to flip through channels. You had been doing so for several seconds before something caught your eye.

“-This week is the last chance for you to come and see that Captain America exhibit showing now at the Smithsonian Museum of Natural History here in Washington D.C.,” the announcer spoke, drawing your attention. You watched as scenes and images from the exhibit looped while the woman was talking, causing you to sigh quietly. Maria had promised to take you way back when the exhibit first opened, knowing darn well about your slight obsession with Captain America. Her exact words were, ‘Well, since I don’t really have the authority to let you in to meet him, I suppose I could take you to the museum instead.’ That jerk, always being such a smart ass… 

A small frown appeared on your lips the more your mind focused on Maria. She still hadn’t called you or messaged you, and though you kept trying, you still couldn’t get through to her personal or her work number. Was something wrong? Was she in danger? Fear began to creep into your heart the more you dwelled on it.

“Can you take me there?”

Bucky’s deep voice directly behind you took you off guard, causing you to jump and slap your hand to your chest in one fluid, startled, motion.

“Oh my God, you scared me,” you called out, looking back to the man who was towering staunchly behind you, “don’t come out of the shadows like-“

“Can you take me there?!” He repeated strongly, this time, his voice betraying him with a hint of desperation.

“Take you where…,” you questioned, before hearing the TV announcing that children get into the exhibition for free, “… Do you mean the Captain America exhibit at the museum?”

He nodded. And though his faces stern and unwavering, his voice came out airy, almost fragile sounding.

“Please.”

You stared at him quietly, your heart beginning to quicken in pace, “Of course I’ll take you,” you turned back around to face the TV, “We can even go tomorrow, if you like. I have been meaning to go myself, actually. Captain America is my favorite avenger, after all… But hey, what’s with the sudden interest in-“ 

You began to say, but as you turned back around, Bucky had already left the room. 

 

*Who is there in Russian.

~

A/N: And there you have it, folks! Bucky is still trying to get his shit together, and you have the patience and heart of a saint! ;P Anyway, I hope you all enjoyed it! I’ll try my darndest to have the next chapter out A LOT sooner than this one came out, so stay tuned! Keep being awesome, and thanks for the read!!! :D


	7. Living With A Monster

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> How could she be so kind?

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> GAH HELLO EVERYONE I KNOW IT HAS BEEN FOREVER AND I AM SO SORRY FOR ALL OF THE FOLLOWING THINGS:
> 
> 1.This chapter took FOREVER to post.  
> 2.It’s a POV chapter, so not that much new material as far as plot goes  
> 3.I didn’t get to edit it nearly as much as it should because I was struggling to get it up before Christmas (in all honest truth, I really wanted to post a chapter of Songbirds Calling before Christmas too, but that just wasn’t gonna happen.) :( Sorry if it seems a little weird and rushed…
> 
> *Big sigh* Yeah… Sorry, this whole month has just been rather ridiculous for me. :P But anyway, read on! And no that at the start of January a brand new chapter will be up with brand new material! Hell yeah! 
> 
> Also, THANK YOU SO MUCH FOR ALL YOUR READS, REVIEWS, KUDOS AND SUPPORT! HERE’S MY PRESENT TO YOU, AND I HOPE YOU ALL HAVE THE BEST HOLIDAY SEASON EVER BECAUSE DAMMIT, YOU DESERVE IT! *Virtually hugs each and every one of you*

‘Why would she take me in?’

The night had been rough on him. Overcome with anxiety and nightmares, Bucky had little to no luck getting any decent sleep. It seemed that just as he was about to doze off, a thought snaked its way into his head and clung on until he was sure he’d go mad thinking about it a second longer. However, in his never-ending stream of troublesome thoughts, your face managed to fight its way to the top. He was pleasantly surprised to find that when he was thinking of you, his fear and worries subsided, but also that his confusion grew.

He just couldn’t fathom it. He knew how scary he was. Whatever he happened to be before this round of reawakening… ‘Bucky’, or whatever else that man seemed to know him as, was gone. His past was ripped from him by the same people that manufactured him into the merciless killing machine he was now. Could he even call himself a man anymore, or was he now simply just a monster? Yes, that was the only logical conclusion. He was composed of death and dread… So why anyone would take him in and let him stay, let alone HER, was completely beyond him.

With a heavy sigh, he cast his gaze out the window, noting that the sun was nearly completely up at this point. Not much longer and the girl would be up, too. With a grimace, he stood from the couch, moving his worn-out form nearer to the window to look outside. As his eyes met the outside world, a deep frown settled on his face. Everything seemed so familiar, and at the same time, worlds apart. He kept watchful eyes on people as they scampered about; a man rushing to his car in a hurry to get to work, a woman jogging by with a little dog trotting right next to her, a group of kids whizzing by on their bikes… Did he used to be a part of a world like this? It seemed unlikely.

As he was about to head back to the couch for another attempt at rest, his eyes happened to catch something on the wall that he hadn’t noticed before. He slowly made his way over to it, and he realized that it was a large frame, holding numerous pictures of (Name) and the people she knew. His eyes flicked from picture to picture, taking the time to fully take in each one. A brief moment of peace washed over him as he glanced at your face. You looked so young and vibrant in each frame, completely happy and taken in the moment. It was refreshing to see. Bucky noted that you also always seemed surrounded by all sorts of people, all of whom he assumed were friends and family. There was also quite a few of you with a particular young man. The way you were posed with the man made it apparent that he was more than just another friend, and he couldn’t help but tell that in those photos you seemed the most happy. Something stirred inside him, and for a moment, he felt a stab of guilt. What right did he have to be here, intruding on your life when you obviously had so many other people to care for?

“Oh, you are already up. Good morning!”

Your voice brought him out of his thoughts, and he turned around to find you standing in the bedroom doorway. The way the light fell around you along with the smile on your face made you look just like you did in your pictures on the wall.

‘All the things I have done to her, and she can still smile like that me,’ Bucky thought, giving you a curt nod as he made his way back over to the couch, ‘I truly am lucky to have been found by her, regardless of if I deserve this treatment or not.’

~

‘What in the hell is in her lap?!’

He just couldn’t figure it out. After you had come back out of your room, you appeared with this… contraption. It was on the smaller side, and somewhat shaped like a book, but as he watched you open it with the just push of a button, a noise emitted from it and a bright light shot up at your face. It seemed vaguely like something he had seen before… The weird device was reminiscent of devices Hydra used to keep in contact with both him and themselves, and it also seemed a little too much like the horrid machines they’d plug him into to ‘wipe him clean’… But why did she have one? Was it a threat? He couldn’t imagine you’d so willingly interact with something that would cause you harm…

Deciding it would be best just to ask, Bucky began to speak, breaking the silence that had fallen around you.

“What is that small box? Why is light coming out of it?”  
Instantly, her head shot up, and she shot him a look that made it seem as if he had sprouted two more heads. His ears began to burn; did she really have to look so surprised?

“Are… are you making a joke,” as if to add insult to injury, she questioned him, causing the burning sensation to grow. He was about to turn away in frustration, when he noticed her face fall back into its default peaceful expression. A small, warm smile even graced her lips. 

“This is my laptop. It’s a little computer, for like, searching the internet and stuff,” she then turned the machine his way, his eyes widening at the looks of it, “See? Mine’s pretty old, but it still works well enough.”

He nodded a bit, more to himself than to her. Yes, this was identical to the machines that Hydra used. A computer… So that’s what it’s called. They must be commonplace if even this girl has one. As his eyes lingered on the screen, he decided this was something he’d like to know more about.

“I just saw you type into it…” He spoke softly, making a slow advance towards the girl, his eyes still glued to the screen.

“Yeah,” She spoke again with a small sigh, “I was actually seeing if maybe I could find some kind of missing persons report for this area or surrounding ones. If we find something matching your description, it could be a start to recovering your memories,” She then glanced up at him, and his gaze fell in line with hers, “although, I’m not sure you want to go back to the people who are looking for you if they did all that damage in the first place.”

He nodded, “I doubt you’ll find anything. Those who are looking for me won’t be so public about it.”

She seemed a bit frustrated by Bucky’s words as she responded, “Um… Well, let’s give it a try anyway, shall we?”

And so she did. She searched nonstop on her computer, visiting every search site, news page, and what she called ‘message boards’ that she knew in hope of finding out anything. Unsurprisingly to him, her efforts were fruitless, but nevertheless, he couldn’t help but admire her dedication. This girl truly was trying to help.

After her searching was through, a deep sigh escaped her lips, “Well, looks like you are right. I found nothing. Guess we’ll have to look elsewhere.”

Her hand went to close the laptop, and as if acting on its own, Bucky quickly moved to stop her, his large hand enveloping her much smaller one. He felt the girl jump a bit beside him, obviously quite startled by his sudden motion. The truth was he was taken off guard as well. Not only by his own brashness, but also by just how much he didn’t want the moment to end. A longing feeling began to tug in his chest… He wanted to see more, and he wanted her to be the one to show it to him.

“Don’t close it yet,” he spoke evenly to the girl, hoping his voice sounded calm enough to settle the girl’s nerves, “I… Can you show me what else this machine can do?”

“S-sure,” she stuttered, “I’ll show you.”

~

For a while, everything was fine. In fact, he’d go so far to say things were going good. The girl was trying her hardest to enlighten him on the ways of the world, and to be quite honest, she was a rather good teacher. His eyes traveled from the screen to her smiling face as he hung on every word she said. It was amazing that this little machine could hold so much knowledge and do so many tasks, but perhaps even more amazing was the fact that this girl could navigate it all so expertly (even though she seemed quick to tell him numerous times that she really didn’t know all that much about computer’s). A smile began to tug at the corner of his lips as she played a short video of a cat in a costume riding atop some sort of robotic cleaning device she called a Roomba. It had been so long since he had felt even the slightest urge to smile, that he almost didn’t recognize the sensation of it. But as his eyes traveled from the silly video, to the girl who was laughing so freely at it, his urge to smile along with her grew even fiercer.

And that’s when he heard it.

THAT swish followed by THAT thud. It was exact. He’d know it anywhere. It was the sound of his door lifting up and slamming against the wall after he had been thawed. It was the sound signaling another mission and a sound signaling Hydra was ready to send their obedient attack dog out for more slaughter.

He let his guard down for a minute, and they found him.

He pushed himself away from the girl, knocking several things down in the process. He heard the girl gasp in alarm at his sudden motions, which caused another thought to dawn in his head. Not only was he in danger, she was now, as well. He clenched his fists so tightly that he began to feel blood trickle down his fingers where his nails had pierced the skin. How could he have been so careless?! This girl who has shown him nothing but kindness… She would never survive what Hydra would do to her. His feet began to pound the ground as he moved towards the source of the noise with purpose. He wouldn’t let Hydra take the two of you so easily.

“Кто там!” He screamed, his voice booming in resentment. The anger radiating off his body was so heavy, he found himself trying harder and harder to breathe. He felt his body tremble in anticipation as his head jerked this way and that in a desperate search to find his soon-to-be assailant. For a moment, he thought he could hear the girl call to him from the other room, but he had no time pay attention as he finally caught a glimpse of movement out of the corner of his eye.

Without a moment’s hesitation, he struck with all that he was. He’d end it all in one hit, and planned to do the same with any whom came after. 

But something was… wrong. Instead of hitting flesh, his arm made contact with the wall, blasting a huge hole through it in his wake. He cursed his luck as he figured that whoever had broken in must have just dodged him, and now that his arm was momentarily trapped in the wall, it left him wide open for an attack. However, confusion wracked his brain after he continued standing there for several seconds with no attacks befalling him. His eyes widened as he looked around in shock to see nothing but a very horrified cat cowering in the corner. 

His mind still a bit muddled, he heard a horrified gasp from behind him, and instantly realized just how horribly he had messed up. No Hydra agent broke into this home. It was the cat all along. A flood of guilt washed over his body as he stared at the damage he had inflicted in this girls home. A deep frown set on his face as he slowly pulled his fist out, grimacing each time another chunk of wall fell to the floor. It seemed all he could do was bring this girl trouble.

He slowly turned to face her, and in seeing the mortified look on her face usually cheerful face, his heart sunk even lower. Only a monster would make a girl like her make a face like that, and he braced himself for what she would do now.

“… I thought they had found me.” He spoke softly in an attempt to explain his actions. He knew it wasn’t much of excuse, but he would hope she would understand because as ridiculous as it sounded, it was the truth.

“It’s OK… just… Just try and remember where you are, alright? There are no “bad guys” here, I promise. Myself and Wuffles are harmless. You can chill out a little.” 

Her words took him by surprise, and his eyes darted to her face to make sure he had heard her correctly. Sure enough, the look on her face was nothing but sincere. Even for this… she was willing to forgive him. She wasn’t going to give up on him. 

‘She really is something.’ Bucky thought to himself, as he gave her a quick nod and averted his gaze back to the damage he had caused, ‘… I’ll need to find a way to fix this.’

~

Long after she had fallen asleep, Bucky stayed up consumed with guilt.

He sat on the edge of the couch; his shoulders slumped down with his forearms resting on his legs. His head dangled sullenly, and his eyes would occasionally flit to the wrecked wall, only to turn his head in disgust.

He felt so stupid. How could he have acted so brashly and caused so much damage?! This place… It was the first nice place he had ever stayed at (at least that he could remember), and all he could manage to do was trash it. Thinking this, he snorted and shook his head lightly. Pathetic.

In the midst of his thoughts, he felt something warm and soft rub up against his leg. Glancing down, his eyes came in contact with the feline who had unintentionally caused this mess. When the cat saw that it had his attention, it meowed happily, and he could hear a faint purr rumble from its belly. With a sigh, he lazily began to stroke the cat’s fur. It seemed this little one had forgiven him, but would she be so willing too?

And that’s when the thought dawned on him. Though it was true he didn’t have the means to repair the wall right here and now, as his eyes flashed around at the other chaos he had caused in the small living area, he realized there was plenty of other ways he could set about making things right.

With a final rough pat on the cats back, he hoisted himself off the couch, “I have plenty of time… I’ll pick this home up again for her sake… It’s the least I can do, right?”

As if giving approval, the cat once again happily meowed before scurrying away into the darkness.

~

His eyes slowly blinked open and were met with a morning sun so bright that it was nearly blinding.

He pulled himself into a sitting position, rubbing the last of the sleep from his eyes with his human arm. As he repositioned himself, a blanket slid off his body and onto the floor. He looked at it momentarily confused, he had no recollection of covering himself before he had given into sleep.

As he leaned over to pick up the blanket, his eyes happened to wander to the seat next to him where to his surprise, he found her. Fast asleep, she was curled up snuggly in the small space, a content look lighting her face. As his hand closed around the soft fabric, Bucky realized it had to have been her that placed this over him, and for some reason, that made him feel… warm. 

He slowly stood up and quietly made his way over to her sleeping form. Gently, he placed the blanket over her, reciprocating the favor. A small smirk graced his lip as he watched her snuggle into the blanket thankfully, a happy sigh escaping her lips.

Maybe she’d forgive him yet.

~

He had to admit, for such a small town, their local library was something to marvel at.

“Alright Bucky,” her serious voice drew his attention, “let’s start downstairs where all the news and current events articles are, what do you say?”

He nodded, garnering a smile from her, and proceeded on behind her as she led them to said section. At first, he was a bit put off about the idea of scouring for information in such a public place with her. What if someone saw them, or they got caught? What if she ended up stumbling upon information that would be best left uncovered? Though those thoughts still hammered in his head, Bucky couldn’t help but feel gratitude over all she was doing for him. Even on edge, having her by his side, sifting through endless amounts of articles and papers helped put him at ease. She really was an amazing person.

At one point after researching for several hours, his companion got up for a bit to stretch her legs. While she was out, Bucky carried on with the search. His eyes lazily passed over article after article, not finding anything of interest in the least… Well, at least at first.

His body froze when his eyes met the bolded title: THE WINTER SOLDIER, FACT OR FICTION? Hurriedly, he yanked the magazine from its stack, causing quite a few to topple over in his haste. Once the magazine was secure in his hands, he hastily flipped through it until he met the article he had been searching for. 

Bucky was no idiot. He could tell this cheap tiny magazine was some kind of hoax magazine, specifically made for the same type of people who believed in Big Foot or kept up to date on alien abductions. But even still, as he held the flimsy pages in his hand and read away, he was quite astonished by all the information this person had managed to gather, and even more surprised by how much of it was true. 

‘Who wrote this,’ he mused to himself, his eyes locked on a grainy, unrecognizable picture that could (or could not have) been him, ‘Who knows so much and made it so public? I wonder if Hydra has found and destroyed them yet…’

“I’m back! Hey, did you find something good?!”

Her voice jolted him out of his haze, and in a swift motion, he was able to cram the magazine into his pocket and out of the girl’s view.

“Y-you’re back.” He stuttered, cursing himself for being so vulnerable in public that even a small girl like (name) could take him off guard.

“Yeah…,” she spoke, cocking her head a bit in an attempt to find what he had just been reading, “So, how’s it going? Did you find anything? As I was walking back I saw you looked really interested in something, and thought maybe you had finally made some leeway.”

Bucky shook his head nonchalantly, “No. I thought for a moment I did, but I was mistaken.”

The girl frowned a bit, and he could tell from the look on her face that she didn’t fully believe him. However, she shrugged, and resumed her seat next to him.

“Alright, then. Let’s keep on looking.”

He nodded once more, his eyes lingering on her determined face. He’d do what he could to keep this girl away from Hydra’s clutches, even if it meant hiding who he was… Or rather, who he used to be. He refused to be the destruction of this girl’s life.

~

“Can you take me there?!”

His words came out harsher than he intended, but as his eyes stayed glued to the television screen, a great pain kept hammering away at him. He frowned as pictures of the Captain flashed on the screen, even simply seeing that man caused a wailing pain to surge inside his head. His face on the screen caused a deafening roar of distant memories that were trying desperately to claw their way to the surface, but just couldn’t make it. He hated the way Captain America made him feel. It was agonizing. It was unbearable. 

‘Just who is Captain America?! Just who is he to ME?!’

“Please.” His voice came out much quieter this time, and as much as he hated it, very fragile sounding. 

A look of worry passed through the girl’s eyes as she spoke to him quietly, “Of course I’ll take you. We can go tomorrow, if you like-“

She had more to say, but he could bear being in that man’s presence any longer (even if he was just on a screen). He quietly retreated to the darkness, and prepared himself to face his past.

~

A/N: And there you have it guys! It looks like the ol’ Buckster is becoming PRETTY fond of you! ;D (Remind me to never call him that again.)  
I hope you all enjoyed it, and again, I am so terribly sorry it took so long to post!!! I appreciate your patience greatly, and am so thankful for your time! I truly hope you enjoyed it!!!

I do plan to start working on the next chapter right away, but please note it probably won’t be up until the New Year (due to family and work things). But I promise you it’s coming and it will be all new adventures and stuff hell yeah let’s go! :D

So, until then, Happy Holidays and Happy New Year and I’ll see all you lovelies soon!

Thank you so much for the read!!!


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